arialace (arialace) wrote,
arialace
arialace

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Pokary 004

EPIC FAIL!!!

Oh man, you ever have one of those nights that you just want to crawl into a hole and never come out? I am such a loser, coward, whatever you want to call it. Urgh! So so Stupid! I mean all I had to do is say three little words and I couldn't do it I just couldn't! Every time I tried to I kept messing up or getting flashes of her in my head. You would think after such a long time what happened back then would hold no water for me, but nope, the moment I get close to Jasmine. Boom it's like flash back city holding up a big neon sign and saying,

HI TAMAKI! GUESS WHAT? WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU FORGET ABOUT HER OR WHAT HAPPENED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER! NOPE IT'S GOING TO HAUNT YOU TILL THE DAY YOU DIE SUCKING ALL THE HAPPINESS OUT OF EVERY GIRL YOU TRY TO GET CLOSE TOO!

And you know what's worse? I thought I could really seriously move on. Jasmine is...well she's amazing and talented and brilliant and smart and funny and sweet and kind and shy, not to mention adorable when she pouts, or smiles or laughs or even crys and gets mad. Is it okay to say that? I mean adorable and mad don't normally mix but she can pull it off really well and I'm all gaga like a goldfish in a bowl, mouth open and choaking on water, for her. Then I get myself all ready to really admit to things, and argh! The phone freaking rings and I'm, "Hello...Glen...what happened...he did what?" And I had to leave before I could tell her anything!

Staraptor is okay though. Glen scared him with the wing examination thing. Maybe he'll stop being such a prissy bitch so much. Primadona bird. Sheesh.

Hummm maybe I can just tell her here.

I love you....I LOVE YOU....I LOVE YOU ...I Love YOU...I LOVE YOU JASMINE HINO!

....See I even wind up scratching it out because I'm too scared that she's gonna tell me that she doesn't feel the same! OH jeeze what the heck do I do! And the Icefestival...I am so screwed if my plans don't work out. How the heck can I ask her that if I haven't even worked up the guts to tell her what I feel for her!

Yashi kun! Help me please! You're married, it had to be easy for you right? How'd you do it! Tell me please!
Tags: coward, date, epic fail, hope, ice festival, jasmine, loser, maybe
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